How to Prepare for your First Appointment with a Family Lawyer
Here are some tips about how to best approach and prepare for your first appointment with a family lawyer. The take home message is: relax and be prepared.
Your lawyer knows this is hard
You lawyer knows that you will be nervous and that this is a very hard time in your life. In most likelihood, you’ve never been through a separation before or even, perhaps, that you’ve never visited a lawyer previously for other reasons. They won’t judge you if you cry, are flustered or don’t know the answer to all their questions.
The first appointment is a test for you both. It’s an opportunity to get to know your lawyer and their attitude and approach. Sometimes, two well-intentioned people, for whatever reason, just don’t’ “click”. And that’s OK. Don’t be afraid to say “this is not the right lawyer for me”.
You might think it’s expensive to visit a few different lawyers for initial advice. The reality is that choosing the wrong lawyer will cost you a lot more than a lot of money.
After separation, one of the most important decisions that you make is who to engage as your lawyer. Their guidance and attitude will have significant effect on your future.
Be prepared for lots of questions
Lawyers ask questions not because they are nosey or want to pry into your life. They ask questions because the answers are relevant and affect the advice they give. The questions are not designed to “call you out” or to put your story into question.
When a lawyer hears a story, many times they turn their minds to what the other party will be saying about the same story. What’s the other parties version? What’s their explanation for their behaviour? What’s the evidence to support your position, what’s the evidence to support a different understanding? What will the lawyer on the other side say or ask about the situation? This is why your lawyer will continue with further questions. And some of these questions may be confronting. So be prepared for a thorough interrogation.
Let it all out- its confidential
What you say to your lawyer is confidential & your lawyer has a professional and ethical obligation to keep that information private. Rest assured they will not talk about you to their friends or re-count you story at dinner parties.
A long serving family lawyer will have “heard it all”. Nothing that you say can surprise or shock them. So don’t be worried that you’re going to be judged or looked down on.
Understand that you have a duty to make full and frank disclosure
All parties in a family law dispute are required by the Family Law Act 1975 to provide (in a timely manner) to each party to the case all information & documents relevant to their family law matter.
This duty starts with the pre-action procedures and continues until your family law matter is finalised.
So what does this actually mean? In relation to financial matters, it means:
- you are required to provide information and documents to the other party if requested by them or their lawyer (provided its relevant to your family law matter);
- you are entitled to seek information and documents from the other party (provided its relevant to your family law matter).
You are required to give the other party (and are entitled to ask from the other party) information and documents relating to:
- income (such as tax returns, employment contracts, pay slips, bank statements);
- the ownership, value, acquisition and sale of assets (such as car registration & insurance papers, appraisals & valuations, share registry statements, superannuation statements);
- any companies or trusts that you (or the other party) have had or have involvement in (such as company financial statements, trust deeds, deeds of variation to trust); and
- the acquisition or disposal of any assets or liabilities leading up to or since separation.
Of course, some of the above information can be ascertained independently (for example, using title or company searches) but this will cost more. It’s a good idea to establish the fundamentals before more money is paid to gather further details.
You can find out more about your duty of disclosure at Chapter 13 of the Family Law Rules 2014 and download the “Duty of Disclosure in Financial Cases” brochure published by the FCWA below.
Have the correct information with you
You don’t necessarily have to have all the documents mentioned above organised immediately, however, your lawyer is likely to ask questions that relate directly to the information these documents reveal, such as your income, value of your assets (such as your home, any investment properties, motor vehicles & superannuation) and extent of your liabilities (such as your mortgage, personal loans & credit cards).
Your lawyer will let you know when you need to get all your disclosure documents together and how to go about it.
Have the correct documents with you
Get the following documents together:
- Marriage Certificate (if you were married);
- Divorce Certificate (if you are divorced);
- Birth Certificates of children (if your dispute relates to your children);
- any existing Court Orders;
- any Court documents relating to proceedings currently on foot in the Family Court;
- correspondence you’ve received from you ex or their lawyer;
- violence restraining order (if any).
Once you’ve collected the above documents, order them and store them in clear plastic pockets inside a binder, so you know where everything is and so you can access it readily and easily.
Email to your lawyer a copy of the last 4 items on the list above prior to your first consult.
Maintain perspective & remember that life will go on
Yes, separation is hard. This is a difficult time in your life. What your lawyer tells you will, in all likelihood, have a profound effect on your future.
But this episode in your life and what happens now will not make or break you. Life will go on. You will recover and you will have good times again. So decide now how you want to go on, how you want your life to be, the kind of future you want for yourself. Start with the way you approach your separation.
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